Into the Liuwa Floodplains

I experience the eternal poetry of rivers as we fly over the upper Zambezi floodplains of western Zambia. These aerial views are heartbreakingly beautiful. Bounded by the Luambimba and Luanginga Rivers, the floodplains are underwater and inaccessible during the rainy season, then as the waters recede so this ancient wilderness area reveals itself.  This place is remote – a two-and-a-half hour flight from the capital Lusaka, an hour's river crossing via pontoon, depending on the season, and a three hour drive into the Liuwa National Park. 

We fall into the friendly arms of the sexy new five-star King Lewanika Lodge, which is deep in the heart of the plains and was designed by acclaimed South African architects Silvio Rech and Lesley Carstens. They also designed Norman Carr’s flagship camp Chinzombo, in Zambia’s South Luangwa National Park; and Miavana, a new lodge in Madagascar, both marketed by Time + Tide.  King Lewanika Lodge is a funky new take on the traditional tented camp.  

Our first sunset is spectacular. I am a complete slut for a good African sunset and this one really rates. I'm travelling with Sally Young - both of us from Sawubona magazine - and our sunset drill is Grey Goose vodka and and tonic and lots of ooh-ing and aah-ing, much to the delight of our guide Rabi and tracker Mr K. We can’t believe how lucky we are. They agree.

In the next few days we explore the soul spaces of the Liuwa floodplains. One morning, we stand in a spot where all around is flat and golden. 360 delicious degrees of flat and golden, except for a small koppie and a lone palm tree that break the horizon. You’d think it would be still and quiet but it’s not. It’s so busy. I’ve never seen so many birds in my life as out here. Under ancient skies, endlessly busy birds. Clouds of pranticoles, flocks of herons. Crowned and wattled cranes, fish eagles, herons, egrets, storks, thick knees, hamerkops, secretary birds, pelicans. An egret rookery with thousands of fluffy cheeping chicks.

The guides at King Lewanika Lodge are seriously good birders. You will see lifers - ours was a rose-throated longclaw and a lesser jacana. The guides explain the magic of the mood swings of Liuwa. We also saw hyenas, jackals, plains game, as well as this gorgeous male lion cub, who looked like he was learning to write.

This guy is descended from the famous Lady Liuwa who was once the last forlorn lion in the Liuwa national park, the others all hunted out. Other lions were then successfully reintroduced. The lions had just eaten when we saw them in the afternoon. This cub was playful and curious and approached the vehicle; the other cub was so stuffed he couldn't even roll over, just lay on his back with his tummy in the air. Their mother watched with those eyes. 

King Lewanika Lodge in the Liuwa plains was one of the most extraordinary places I have ever visited. Not just the fabulous staff and the delightful manager Noelien - but everything. The space, the style, the soul; the legends of the Lozi people who live here. I dream of it often, the faraway, golden wilderness that stole a piece of my heart ...

I didn't ever want to leave the Liuwa Floodplains. I wanted to be dropped off at the Hashtag Bar - a little place I spotted on our drive out of the town of Kalabo - to stay forever in awe of the riverside people here, whose lives are determined by the rise and fall of the flood plains. 

This little-known region of Zambia is a showcase of transformation. Since 2003, the park has been managed by African Parks through a public-private partnership with the Zambian Government, the Zambia Wildlife Authority (ZAWA) and the Barotse Royal Establishment, and now Norman Carr Safaris.

Contact: www.normancarrsafaris.com; bookings@normancarrsafaris.com; www.timeandtideafrica.com

Sunshine journalism and the G&T revolution

I have been trying desperately to think of one good thing about 2016. Brexit, Trump, Syria, drowned refugees, bomb blasts, terror attacks, the drought, the death of David Bowie, Black Friday, violence on campus, my personal life, oh dear, heartbreak, writing a painful book, losing a pet, moving house. I’ve been thinking about it all week.

Where is that one little ray of sunshine?

And it then it just struck me.

It has just struck me that this is the very first year in my adult life I haven’t been a South African crime statistic. Can you imagine that? I mean like, no crime has been committed against me, and as far as I remember, I haven’t committed a crime.

It might not seem like a big deal to you, but to me it is a startling and wonderful revelation. In the past thirty years I have been mugged many times, held at knifepoint, held at gunpoint, thieved and burgled more than I can count, robbed of three or four cars, armed robbed, home invaded, attacked and stabbed in the head, had all my possessions stolen; and then again. I've been to the cops more than thirty times in thirty years. You know, it’s like South Africa. 

I can’t even begin to come up with an inventory of stolen things, apart from my whole life, except to note that there was one ghetto blaster that had serious street voodoo and managed to not get stolen for close on twenty something years before dying a natural appliance death in rural Limpopo. God alone knows how that ghetto blaster pulled it off. 

So howabout that then? All of a freelance Friday, here I am, the chosen one, finally that fabulous statistic. I have been granted one whole crime free year in South Africa. And it feels great. Send champagne, send whisky, send fresh horses, send love; send a SA Crime Stats Award in chrome; send strength to the constitutional democracy’s arm. Oh wait, send some artisanal gin if you could. I’ve noticed – heh - there is a G&T revolution sweeping the country. Think amber, verde, rooibos infused, black pepper, basil, cucumber, decolonised. 

* Images courtesy of the Latitude Group & Francois d'Elbee x

Sex, spring, mountain gardens

Hopeful shoot, bursting bud. Wicked, wicked anthurium (yes that’s the rude pink one in the photo). It’s impossible to ignore the arousal of spring out here in the mountains of the Magoebaskloof, Limpopo. Everywhere I look there’s a flirtatious azalea, a blossoming cherry, the sweet smelling jasmine. I cannot stay at my desk, I have to get out and explore.

Marloe’s Garden I head for the jardim of the fabulous Marloe Scott Wilson. Soft view, tall trees, horses, dogs, cats, delight. We sit on the porch and drink wine and talk gardens and life. Marloe got into urban gardening in London in the 70s and is passionate about edible gardens, companion planting, making compost, planting at the new moon, talking to your seedlings and using available resources. All the things that make me go zing. I leave with bunches of greens and packets of heirloom seeds.

Oh me oh my, the clivias I go completely weak kneed at the sight of a flowering clivia which is making morning walks a wobbly affair. Every shady garden pocket in Haenertsburg village is lit with the clivias flowering in peach, apricot, orange, yellow-orange, vermillion, tangerine. I grow them from seed for pleasure, and think of my mother and the fabulous Lisa Atherstone who has a clivia nursery in the dreaming heights of George’s Valley near here. www.wholsesale-nursery.co.za

Hello Cheerio We walk gently as friends in the afternoon under the pin oaks and crab apples; gaze greedily at the outrageous spectacle of azaleas, cherry blossoms and water. Cheerio Gardens are the mountain’s most famous English exotic gardens and were started by the pioneering Box Thompson after the First World War.  

www.cheeriogardens.co.za

Sequoia Another treasure of Magoebaskloof is the gentle, gracious Sequoia Gardens, lovingly tended over the years by the delightful Jack Holloway. I do slow pans across calming dam views, close ups into the erotic blue iris. I may never be the same again. See Jack’s blog on https://sequoiagardens.wordpress.com

Albie’s Orchid I drink a whisky with Albie Leiding, pharmacist, philosopher, gardener and gentleman. He lives in Agatha in Tzaneen and the orchids in his house and on his veranda delight us every spring and summer. He tends them carefully. He knows their Latin names, their daily mood swings, their favourite songs. Pure plant porn.

My grandmother’s tibouchinas Like ballerinas in pink tutus these trees prance across the garden stage, frilly and delightful. They were my grandmother Elsie Tooley’s favourite trees and they’re flowering early this year. Wander with a G&T www.kingswalden.co.za

Horse shit I head for the fabulous Denise Tooley at Minas and load up 100kg of compost and horse and sheep manure. The horses, Tigger, Amber and Naledi are very beautiful, especially when sun kissed, but they can be unruly if not downright anarchic. Denise shouts at them when they get into the veggie garden but we are still grateful for their help in enriching the Minas gardens and my very own. www.minas.co.za

Ten reasons to visit Magoebaskloof now

The spring show is about to begin “In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, when the birds do sing, hey-ding-a-ding ding, cuckoo, jug-jug, pu-wee, ta-witta-woo!”  Come and see the astonishing spring spectacle on our mountain here in Limpopo province as the azaleas and cherry blossoms do their wild pink, purple, peach thang and everything is reflected in silver dams. It’s completely outrageous. OMG, sweetmotherofmary, hawu, yona yo, faints with delight. The annual Spring Fair is on from the 24^th of September to the 2^nd of October.  www.mountaingetaways.co.za

There’s fabulous soul food Mina’s Neighbourhood Food Market is happening on the 4^th of September and it’s the best food jol on the mountain featuring gourmet burgers, trout platters, sushi, curry, bliss bowls and more. All in a glorious farm setting with cool people and hot music. www.minas.co.za

The cemetery has views to die for Set amongst old gardens and ancient trees at the top of the hill with far reaching views, Haenertsburg has a fabulous cemetery and everyone visits it all the time: happy hikers, sentimental relatives, cooing lovers, groping teenagers, day trippers, weekenders, the whole lot. Pack a picnic or sundowners and head up the hill www.magoebasklooftourism.co.za

The beer is flowing There’s a new brew rising here on the mountain. Zwakala Brewery, Limpopo’s first organic craft brewery has opened its doors and its taps. The name Zwakala means ‘come closer’ and people from all over the world are pulling in, including a couple in a small car who drove all the way from Germany. Seriously. www.zwakalabrewery.co.za

There’s a brilliant bookshop Go for a long slow book browse followed by breakfast and a moerkoffie or a lazy lunch at the Pennefather bookshop in the main road. They’ve got a great selection of second hand books, Africana and collectibles. www.pennefather.co.za

The cheese is organic Blessed are the cheesemakers as Monty Python said. Wegraakbosch Farm produces a delicious range of totally, like totally, organic cheeses. And milk and veggies and chourico sausages. Take a tour of the farm and cheese factory and end it all with a lunch platter overlooking the blue mountains. wegraakbosch.wixsite.com/wegraakbosch/organic-dairy

The people are crazy Nice crazy. Friendly and eccentric and upbeat now that the spring is springing. Take a stroll down the main street – yes there’s only one – and meet assorted locals who are more than happy to ply you with food, hooch, craft, trinkets, plants and good conversation. And you can put unruly children in the village stocks! www.magoebasklooftourism.co.za

The scenery is incredible The Magoebaskloof area is Scenery Central. I’m talking wild mountains, thick indigenous forests, rolling endemic grasslands, happy waterfalls, chortling rivers, silver dams…

There are amazing places to stay Take your pick from farm cottages, village B&Bs, mountain hideaways and country hotels. www.limpopobookings.co.za

The pub is feckin fabulous Named after the highest peak in the area, the local pub the Iron Crown is the place for good food and cheer - try their delicious Haenertsburger. If you ring the bell inside you have to buy the whole pub a round – you have been warned!

The Ministry of Fabulousness: Putting the mmm in Mpumalanga

The Ministry of Fabulousness: Putting the mmm in Mpumalanga: We call Mpumalanga the Slowveld, You know, like the Lowveld, but sultry with extra steam and less speed. More time to explore the ancient mo...

Putting the mmm in Mpumalanga

We call Mpumalanga the Slowveld, You know, like the Lowveld, but sultry with extra steam and less speed. More time to explore the ancient mountains, scenic passes, lovely wildlife and fabulous people. Here’s my soul selection. 

High upon a White River sunset We park off on the veranda overlooking the Swartfontein Dam in the dreamy hills above White River. We have giant G&Ts and watch the sun slip sexily down the sky. When it gets dark the stars take over. We are off-the-grid, solar-powered, candlelit. We see the Milky Way in glorious detail and listen to the purr of the night. www.krugerlowveld.com

Day driving through southern Kruger The dawn breaks warm as we trundle sleepily into southern Kruger, Malelane Gate. It’s spring and there are babies everywhere. We ooh and aah. At lunch we stop and watch the baby elephants hold onto their mothers’ tails as they cross the Lower Sabie River. www.krugerpark.co.za

Looking over the Makhonjwa Mountains My heart sings at the sight of these wild green mountains on the edge of the Slowveld and Swaziland. The Barberton Mountain Lands, greenstone rocks dating from the dawn of time. Three and a half billion years, some of the oldest on earth containing evidence of life’s first forms. Geologists, scientists and boffins from NASA have been coming here for years. My best. Faints of happiness. https://www.nightjartravel.com/magazine/makhonjwa-magic

On the edge of Blyde River Canyon I drop to my knees at the sight of the Blyde River Canyon. God’s Window. Sheer green cliffs and a silver dam. Highlight of the Slowveld’s Panorama Route, the Blyde is the third biggest canyon in the world after the USA’S Grand Canyon and Namibia’s Fish River Canyon. Take a hip flask. www.mpumalanga.com

Jolling in Nelspruit We’re after a different kind of wild life now, and there’s fabulous ear candy at Die Stoep, a groovy venue at the back of a street-facing coffee shop in Sonpark Boulevard. There are pink pillars and fairy lights and the steps are painted like piano keys. We make friends with everyone and end up with hangovers. www.diestoep.co.za

Kaapeshoop on a Sunday Day trippers head up the steep pass to this eccentric misty village in the mountains. The Bohemian Groove Café is the soul spot. Great food, strong drink and live music. Kaapsehoop was once a gold rush town - for about ten minutes -  and today is famed for its wild horses and lovely walks, as well as cast of interesting bistros, bars and fabulous people. www.bohemiangroovecafe.co.za

Roadtripping the Slowveld By virtue of its geology, the Slowveld offers some of the most scenic and sexiest roads you could hope to take. We travel the Long Tom Pass, the Abel Erasmus Pass (slipping through the Strijdom Tunnels), the Saddleback Pass. We drive the Panorama Route and into the Wild Frontier and off to Mozambique, destination Maputo where spicy food and groovy people await. www.mpumalanga.com

Fabulously Trouteng, Walkersons of Dullstroom

From the gold framed portraits of the ancestors and their spaniels to the pink bubbly at noon, Walkersons is fabulously Trouteng, as I call Dullstroom, Mpumalanga’s fly-fishing capital. Famed for its honeyed grasslands and moneyed Gautengers, there’s no suffering in Trouteng - and staying at Walkersons is like visiting a fabulously decadent and somewhat eccentric grand old aunt’s country estate. Where there’s whisky on your oats in the morning and the waiters wear tartan kilts and demure women like us wonder what’s under them. Us being a media group, all too keen to be in this gentle golden valley with its silver trout dams and promise of loveliness.

Walkersons lies at the end of a pretty track reached by a dramatic descent off the tar road. The gracious stone hotel has shade trees and water features, closed porches and generous verandas. I was lucky enough to have a room with a pond right outside, which did a mean line in reflection and it occurred to me I was getting double the scenery and I immediately felt fabulous. After bubbles and lunch with the media princesses, I retired to my room and set about speed dating it. It’s been so long since I’ve been in a real grand old country hotel, and I’ve just survived my first non subtropical winter in a decade, having recently moved to the mountaintop village of Haenertsburg in Limpopo - so I went for unconscionable decadence. 

I started the pre-made fire, put on the electric blanket, ran a bubble path, lit all the candles and tried unsuccessfully to connect to the wifi. So I opened the bar, poured some wine, put on the CD player AND the TV, poured more wine and gazed longingly at the winter sun kiss the pond outside, so grateful to be warm and safe, especially warm. Repeat. Very grateful to be warm. Sounds of purring. 

When I did get onto the wifi, shortly before those pre-dinner drinks that are de rigeur at your fabulous aunt’s country estate, I posted a picture of the sun-kissed golden pond and an old friend from Betty’s Bay in the Western Cape said he knew the chef at Wakersons. So the chef was duly summonsed and he turned out to be the fabulous Adri van Wieringen who has a string of illustrious awards to his name and cooks like a dream. We princesses were exceptionally well looked after on the food front. If you’re ever in Trouteng, go to Walkersons as a day visitor just for the food. And the wine. Ok you may as well stay a few days…

And when I stumbled happily back to my room, the Turndown Service had stoked up my fire, revved up the electric blanket, scattered the room with roses and run me a bubble bath. Guess what I did?

Mbali, Ilse, myself, Dawn, Theresa and Michelle

Apart from my room, my other favourite place was Peggy’s Bar, named after Peggy de Villiers who was an early pioneer and tippler. We posed under her portrait. She photo-bombed us. Walkersons is grand but not snobby or stuffy. It’s a really friendly laid back place for a chill-out weekend.

The estate has a series of trout dams as well as ornamental dams with ducks, and lots of water features. The grasslands were wintry ochre, with busy birds and the odd lone tree. You can stroll or hike, fish or go for a massage. Or all of them. Or do nothing but purr and look at the pond’s reflections. Check out www.walkersons.co.za